My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
