That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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