I want to stick my p in your. b.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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