Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
