Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
