I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He better not be in your backpack
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
