well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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