alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
