That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
