oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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