grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
