Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
