Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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