i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
