I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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