Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
