His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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