I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize