i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
