i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
