I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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