It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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