Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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