tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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