i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
