Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The adults are the big ones right?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
