That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
