We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
