love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
