It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
