I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
