So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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