I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
