They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
