Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
