I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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