I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
