there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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