i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
