ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
