I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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