I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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