theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
