i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
