oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize