i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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