you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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