Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize