he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
