He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
