I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
