Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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