She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
