what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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