Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
