I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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