Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
