If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
