never play flip cup with pint glasses
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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