This is not my ceiling
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
