you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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