My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
vagina is talking i cant
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
