Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize