so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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