I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she smelled like a LAN party
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
