My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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