I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
