You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
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