He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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