i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
