This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Even my vagina gasped.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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