you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize