I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
