Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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